Cancer Camp!

I'm going into pediatric cancer therapy and last year through my major I learned about a camp for kids with cancer and their siblings. I went last year but was only 19 so I couldn't be a regular counselor so this year was my first year with my very own kids. I loved it! I was with the 6-7 year old girls which was so fun! I'm not a journaler so when each night I journaled about the day I was so impressed and so glad I did. There were little moments that I remembered that night but not through the rest of the week. so I thought it would be perfect to put my recordings on here! So there is a reflection of each day, some happy and some..not as happy but all from the heart.
DAY 1 Sunday
Today was a little stressful. It was raining so hard all day and freezing cold and we had our training outside. It was covered but still so so cold! It finally stopped raining by the end of the day and the sun even came out for a little bit. The training was good and now that the sun came out I'm getting really excited for camp to start! The campers get here tomorrow! I have 8 girls, 5 of them have have cancer. It's going to be a tough week but I know in the end I'm going to love the girls!
DAY 2
We made it through our first day of camp! One of our girls got sick over the weekend so she couldn't come but the others are here and so excited! They got here this morning and most of them this is their first time. You are allowed to come to camp during treatment and up to three years after your last treatment. I'm pretty sure all the girls I have that had cancer have been in remission for a while. There is one girl who is 7 and this is her third year at camp and she is so tiny. A lot of the medicine they take stunts their growth so she is pretty small. There was one girl I knew from last year who her dad is in a wheelchair is one of my campers this year. As I was talking to her mom I found out that she was adopted and 3 weeks ago they adopted a 2 day old baby. What an incredible family and woman they are!
It's only been one day and I've already lost track of the days. It's going to be an awesome week but by the end of it I am surely going to be worn out!
DAY 3
Today was day two witht he campers. The smallest girl today I found out she had liver cancer just after she turned 1. She has a scar across her belly that is about 15 inches long and various scars. When we were changing today for the pool she was really insecure about it. I told her that I had scars on my belly too and showed them to her. Today I was grateful for my scars and today my imperfection made her perfect, today our scars were beautiful. She is so wise, she has the wisdomof a 50 year old but the tiny life of a 7 year old.
Another girl was sick today. As I sat with her while the doctor checked her out. I felt the fear that she had of her caner coming back. She just finished treatment less than a year ago and it could easily come back at any time. When the doctor did everything she knew what to do like a pro. She is one, with so many doctor and check-ups. My heart went out to her and when she was even more sick tonight I could see how sad she was that she had to be sick especially at camp. She is doing better now and hopefully we will be better tomorrow.
Tonight was VIP night. This is where people who help make camp possible come for dinner and campfire. The ones that came were some of the highest donors. It really made me think that someday I wan to help make something like this happen. Maybe not exactly a camp but do something to help change people's lives. I'm not even a camper, this ccamp wasn't designed for me, but because some people made this camp possible my life and countless other will and are changed forever.
DAY 4
Not that I haven't felt like a mother all week but especially today that role is becoming more apparent. I have the youngest girls which mean everyone loves them because they are the cutest campers. Don't get me wrong they surely are but they don't see the whole side of them. We do everything for them from putting toothpaste on their toothbrushes to hold their plates and making sure they eat enough. We help them pick out and change their clothes. Don't get me wrong I do love this and I love them, I've just turned into a mom of seventuplets! My heart goes out to anyone who is! Everyone love the hugs and smile but we are the only ones around when they get to being grouchy and tired. Today is Wednesday and they are all starting to get tired and a little homesick but for the most part they are still having fun.
I becoming a pro at putting in hearing aids. Two of my girls have them and need help putting them in and taking them out. We have a lot of water activities so I've got a lot of practice!
Today was also Hobe' Forever. That is the remembering program where if the kids want to go they can go and plant a flower and remember the people who have been in our lives in some way or another and are no longer there. This year. like many, are extra emotional. One of the counselors that was here last year that two weeks before camp found out his cancer had relapsed, died this last year. Last year at Hobe' Forever he was remembering his brother who had died in December. That is two kids dying from cancer the same year, those parents must be so strong to overcome that. There were some siblings that died this past year too so some had an extra difficult time. It was sad to see brothers there crying and just hours before had been laughing and playing. Camp is such a great thing when everyone around you understand what you are going through. Tomorrow is the last full day of camp and is the carnival so hopefully that will keep spirits high.
DAY 5
Carnival day! Day four for camper starts to get a little long so they distract them with the carnival. I was at the "everyone's a winner at the duck pond"! It was actually pretty fun. I also LOVE cotton candy and since I'm not a kid I got to have a s much as I wanted until they ran out, which was not until I had three! Which was of course one of every color! The girls loved that and afterwords we threw them all in the shower since we hadn't showered them since Monday. Most of them swam between then but a good wash down hadn't happened so in honor of parents coming tomorrow we got them clean. It was a crazy wet party with 7 screaming girls but was fun and most importantly they are clean.
Tonight was the dance they have and that was where things started to fall apart. Four of the girls had break downs and got homesick and were crying. Then to top their night off we came in to go to bed and our mattresses were in the middle of the floor! They were sad and then stressing about who pranked our cabin, and they all started the day tired so it was a bit of a rough night. We didn't even read a story and at least 3 of them are snoring now. I'm sad to see tomorrow come because I love these girls! I've learned what the picky ones like, what makes the shy ones hiine, and the strength each one has inside that makes them who they are. However, I am in desperate need of a clean shower so I'm looking forward to tomorrow night!
DAY 6
The last day of camp is really only a half a day because after lunch is clean up and the parents come at 3pm. They all were pretty happy because they knew they were going home that night. Everyone is always happy to see the end but when it finally gets here no one wants to go, even me. I have loved these girls this week and they have been my everything. It's hard to care so much for someone like that and then maybe never see them again. As the girls met their parents one by one I really started tearing up and as our final staff meeting was over and I was driving home I was so sad to leave something so wonderful and happy.
I love going to cancer camp, it truly puts my life into perspective and when these little kids enjoy every single moment it make me remember how precious life really is and how quickly or sudden it can be over. So love those you love a make sure they know it. Enjoy the simplest pleasures of life even down the tiny moments and simple happiness, for each moment is a gift from God and of the many great gifts he has given us the gift to feel happiness is one that I treasure most.

**Sorry there are no pictures. Due to campers privacy we can't publish any pictures of them. **